Sunday, April 29, 2012

Obama Tells Jokes

Pic of the Day

Azealia Banks

Movie of the Day

Title: Nosferatu
Director: F.W. Murnau
Writer: Henrik Galeen (based on Dracula by Bram Stoker)
Starring: Max Schreck, Gustav von Wangenheim, Greta Schröder, Alexander Granach, Ruth Landshoff, Wolfgang Heinz

Song of the Day

Title: She
Artist: Tyler, The Creator feat. Frank Ocean
Album: Goblin



[Verse 1: Frank Ocean]
Golden rubbers in these denim pockets
On my waist, there's a black Glock
New girl moved on the block 
She been plottin' on my brown cock 
Last night I slept over hers 
During sex, I overheard 
A sword sliced the air, I pulled out the na-na
Rolled off the bed then shot back, pa-pa
Blood on the sheets probably spillin' from my gash
Looked out the glass, seen you sprintin' on the grass
A real ninja with the blade and the mask
Got them gold ninja stars and red Supreme nunchuks
Now she tryna patch me up, but
Girl, I was just tryna get a nutbust
If that's your ex, you should probably own a pistol
But I'm guessin' it's wiser to exit with dude

[Hook: Frank Ocean]
The blinds wide open so he can
See you in the dark when you're sleepin'
Think about it, fresh out the shower
You touch yourself after hours
Ain't no man allowed in your bedroom
You're sleeping alone in your bed
But check your window, he's at your window

[Verse 2: Tyler, The Creator]
The night light hits off, turnin' kisses to bites
I'm a down to earth nigga with intentions that's right
You'll be down in earth quicker if you diss me tonight
But I'll be the happiest if you decide to kick it tonight
We can chill and I can act like I don't wanna fuck
You can tell me all your problems like I really give one
But I give two for us cause you're the one that I want
Don't wanna seem like a punk pussy that sips on the punk pussy
See when I'm with my friends I just put on a front
But in the back of my top I'm writing songs about we
We as including I and yourself, making three
Little ones drink pretty hard if you ask me
You're a pretty broad in the top three
Of things that I've been waiting to come, so
Meet me by the lake around 10 and skinny dippin' and then
We can begin the pretend game, I wanna be Finn from Adventure in Time

[Hook]

[Bridge: Tyler, The Creator]
One, two, you're the girl that I want
Three, four, five, six, seven, shit
Eight is the bullets if you say no after all this
And I just couldn't take it, you're so motherfuckin' gorgeous
Gorgeous, baby you're gorgeous
I just wanna drag you're lifeless body to the forest
And fornicate with it but that's because I'm in love with
You...cunt

[Bridge 2: Tyler, The Creator]
I just wanna talk, and conversate
'Cause I usually just stalk you and masturbate
And I finally got the courage to ask you on a date
So just say yes, let the future fall into place
I just wanna talk, and conversate
'Cause I usually just stalk you and masturbate
And I finally got the courage to ask you on a date
So just say yes, let the future fall into place...cunt

[Hook 2x]

[Bridge]

Artist of the Day

Bernard Buffet, 1928-1999, French painter

Thought of the Day

There needs to be an "Unwitting Plagiarism Prevention" Google program where you can describe an idea for a work of fiction and it will tell you whether or not it has been done before.

Quote of the Day

Why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? - Matthew 7:3

Saturday, April 28, 2012

Pic of the Day

Marbled iceberg


Movie of the Day

Title: Pan's Labyrinth
Director: Guillermo del Toro
Writer: Guillermo del Toro
Starring: Ivana Baquero, Doug Jones, Sergi López, Maribel Verdú, Ariadna Gil, Álex Angulo

Song of the Day

Title: Wonderwall
Artist: Oasis
Album: (What's the Story) Morning Glory?



Today is gonna be the day that they're gonna throw it back to you
By now, you should've somehow realized what you gotta do
I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now

Backbeat, the word is on the street that the fire in your heart is out
I'm sure you've heard it all before, but you never really had a doubt
I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now

And all the roads we have to walk are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding
There are many things that I would like to say to you, but I don't know how

Because maybe you're gonna be the one that saves me
And after all, you're my wonderwall

Today was gonna be the day, but they'll never throw it back to you
By now, you should've somehow realized what you're not to do
I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now

And all the roads that lead you there were winding
And all the lights that light the way are blinding
There are many things that I would like to say to you, but I don't know how

I said maybe you're gonna be the one that saves me
And after all, you're my wonderwall
I said maybe (I said maybe) you're gonna be the one that saves me
And after all, you're my wonderwall

I said maybe (I said maybe) you're gonna be the one that saves me
You're gonna be the one that saves me
You're gonna be the one that saves me

Artist of the Day

Ed Ruscha, 1937-present, American painter, printmaker, and photographer
                    

Thought of the Day

When doing laundry, how does a parent of twins keep track of which set of matching outfits belongs to whom?

Quote of the Day

A pure hand needs no glove to cover it. - Nathaniel Hawthorne

Friday, April 27, 2012

When Keepin' It Real Goes Right

Pic of the Day

As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a gangster

Movie of the Day

Title: Goodfellas
Director: Martin Scorsese
Writers: Martin Scorsese, Nicholas Pileggi (based on Wiseguy by Nicholas Pileggi)
Starring: Ray Liotta, Robert De Niro, Joe Pesci, Lorraine Bracco, Paul Sorvino, Frank Sivero, Frank Vincent, Tony Darrow, Samuel L. Jackson

Song of the Day

Title: Hollywood
Artist: The Cranberries
Album: To the Faithful Departed

Artist of the Day

Julian Opie, 1958-present, British painter and sculptor

Thought of the Day

All high school curriculums should have a required sex ed course titled, "Population Control 101."

Quote of the Day

The distinction between children and adults, while probably useful for some purposes, is at bottom a specious one, I feel. There are only individual egos, crazy for love. - Niccolo Machiavelli


Thursday, April 26, 2012

Metta World Peace aka Ron "Bones Jones" Artest

This is a man who changed his name to Metta World Peace after once inciting a riot in an opposing arena

Pic of the Day

Residents of Manshiyat Naser, aka "Garbage City," a suburb of Cairo

Movie of the Day

Title: Scent of a Woman
Director: Martin Brest
Writer: Bo Goldman (based on Il buio e il miele Giovanni Arpino)
Starring: Al Pacino, Chris O'Donnell, James Rebhorn, Gabrielle Anwar, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Bradley Whitford



Song of the Day

Title: Hungry Like the Wolf
Artist: Duran Duran
Album: Rio



Dark in the city, night is a wire

Steam in the subway, earth is a fire
Do-do do do, do do do, do do do, do do do, do do
Woman you want me, give me a sign
And catch my breathing even closer behind
Do-do do do, do do do, do do do, do do do, do do

In touch with the ground
I'm on the hunt I'm after you
Smell like I sound, I'm lost in a crowd
And I'm hungry like the wolf
Straddle the line, in discord and rhyme
I'm on the hunt I'm after you
Mouth is alive with juices like wine
And I'm hungry like the wolf

Stalked in the forest, too close to hide
I'll be upon you by the moonlight side
Do-do do do, do do do, do do do, do do do, do do
High blood drumming on your skin it's so tight
You feel my heat, I'm just a moment behind
Do-do do do, do do do, do do do, do do do, do do

In touch with the ground
I'm on the hunt I'm after you
Scent and a sound, I'm lost and I'm found
And I'm hungry like the wolf
Strut on a line, it's discord and rhyme
I howl and I whine I'm after you
Mouth is alive all running inside
And I'm hungry like the wolf

(Hungry like the wolf
Hungry like the wolf
Hungry like the wolf)

Burning the ground I break from the crowd
I'm on the hunt I'm after you
I smell like I sound, I'm lost and I'm found
And I'm hungry like the wolf
Strut on a line, it's discord and rhyme
I'm on the hunt I'm after you
Mouth is alive with juices like wine
And I'm hungry like the wolf

Burning the ground I break from the crowd
I'm on the hunt I'm after you
Scent and a sound, I'm lost and I'm found
And I'm hungry like the wolf

Strut on a line, it's discord and rhyme
I howl and I whine I'm after you
Mouth is alive all running inside
And I'm hungry like the wolf

Artist of the Day

Mr. Brainwash, 1966-present, French printmaker and street artist

Thought of the Day

When I watch those sexually-charged GoDaddy.com commercials with Danica Patrick and Jillian Michaels, I can't help but wonder if the company has any intention of procuring business from women.

Quote of the Day

Any reviewer who expresses rage and loathing for a novel is preposterous. He or she is like a person who has put on full armor and attacked a hot fudge sundae. - Kurt Vonnegut


Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Pic of the Day

Dustin Pedroia's pre-game ritual

Movie of the Day

Title: The 6th Day
Director: Roger Spottiswoode
Writers: Cormac Wibberley, Marianne Wibberley
Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Michael Rapaport, Tony Goldwyn, Michael Rooker, Sarah Wynter, Robert Duvall

Song of the Day

Title: Straight No Chaser
Artist: Thelonius Monk Quartet
Album: Genius of Modern Music: Vol. 2

Artist of the Day

Norman Rockwell, 1894-1978, American painter and illustrator

Thought of the Day

You know what you never see? Someone mowing their lawn at a full sprint. That would be a spectacle. They should add that as an event in those Great Outdoor Games on ESPN.

Quote of the Day

Baseball is a game where a curve is an optical illusion, a screwball can be a pitch or a person, stealing is legal and you can spit anywhere you like except in the umpire's eye or on the ball. - Jim Murray

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Keep America Beautiful, Lest You Be Scalped




Pic of the Day

A tornado, that happens to be made of fire
                 

Movie of the Day

Title: Dolemite
Director: D'Urville Martin
Writers: Rudy Ray Moore (story), Jerry Jones (screenplay)
Starring: Rudy Ray Moore, D'Urville Martin, Jerry Jones, Lady Reed, Hy Pyke, West Gale, John Kerry, Vainus Rackstraw

Song of the Day


Title: Day 'N' Night
Artist: Kid Cudi
Album: Man on the Moon: The End of Day


Day and night (what, what)
I toss and turn, I keep stressing my mind, mind (what, what)
I look for peace but see I don't attain (what, what)
What I need for keeps this silly game we play, play
Now look at this (what, what)
Madness to magnet keeps attracting me, me (what, what)
I try to run but see I'm not that fast (what, what)
I think I'm first but surely finish last, last

[Chorus]
'Cause day and night
The lonely loner seems to free his mind at night
He's all alone through the day and night
The lonely loner seems to free his mind at night (at, at, at night)
Day and night
The lonely loner seems to free his mind at night
He's all alone, some things will never change (never change)
The lonely loner seems to free his mind at night (at, at, at night)

Hold the phone (what, what)
The lonely stoner, Mr. Solo doe low (what, what)
He's on the move can't seem to shake the shade (what, what)
Within his dreams he sees the life he made, made
The pain is deep (what, what)
A silent sleeper you won't hear a peep, peep (what, what)
The girl he wants don't seem to want him too
It seems the feelings that she had are through, through

[Chorus]

Slow moe (what, what)
When the tempo slows up and creates that new, new (what, what)
He seems alive though he is feeling blue (what, what)
The sun is shining man he's super cool, cool
The lonely nights (what, what)
They fade away he slips into his white Nikes (what, what)
He smokes a clip and then he's on the way (what, what)
To free his mind in search of,
To free his mind in search of,
To free his mind in search of,

[Chorus]

Artist of the Day

Yoshitaka Amano, 1952-present, Japanese painter and illustrator

Thought of the Day

Here's an anecdote which summarizes our country's attitude towards nutrition: while working in the market at my big important job at the big important consumer zombie palace known as Target, I passed a young lady who was looking at an assortment of V8 juices, and after briefly glancing at the labels she proclaimed, "Eww, this has fruits and vegetables in it!" I then paused, surveyed the aisles and aisles of preservative-laden, highly-processed foods, and shed a solitary tear like that American Indian in those old Keep America Beautiful commercials.

Quote of the Day

If there is righteousness in the heart, there will be beauty in character. If there is beauty in character, there will be harmony in the home. If there is harmony in the home, there will be order in the nation. If there is order in the nation, there will be peace in the world. - Chinese proverb

Monday, April 23, 2012

Ryan Dempster Impersonating Harry Caray

Pic of the Day

Owl on the prowl

Movie of the Day

Title: Munich
Director: Steven Spielberg
Writers: Tony Kushner, Eric Roth
Starring: Eric Bana, Daniel Craig, Ciarán Hinds, Omar Metwally, Mathieu Kassovitz, Hanns Zischler, Geoffrey Rush

Song of the Day

Title: Pretty Good at Drinkin' Beer
Artist: Billy Currington
Album: Enjoy Yourself



I wasn't born for diggin' deep holes 
I'm not made for pavin' long roads 
I ain't cut out to climb high line poles 
But I'm pretty good at drinkin' beer 

I'm not the type to work in a bank 
I'm no good at slappin' on paint 
Don't have a knack for makin' motors crank, no 
But I'm pretty good at drinkin' beer 

[Chorus]

So hand me one more 
That's what I'm here for 
I'm built for having a ball 
I love the nightlife 
I love my Bud Light 
I like 'em cold and tall 

I ain't much for mowin' thick grass 
I'm too slow for workin' too fast 
I don't do windows so honey don't ask 
But I'm pretty good at drinkin' beer 

A go-getter maybe I'm not 
I'm not known for doin' a lot 
But I do my best work when the weather's hot 
I'm pretty good at drinkin' beer 

[Chorus]
I wasn't born for diggin' deep holes 
I'm not made for pavin' long roads 
I ain't cut out to climb high line poles 
But I'm pretty good at drinkin' beer 
I'm pretty good at drinkin' beer 

[Spoken] 

Aww, hand me one more boys
That's what I'm here for



Artist of the Day

Raoul Dufy, 1877-1953, French painter

Thought of the Day

I guess I'm gonna have to be the one to write the script for the Inspector Gadget live-action movie. After that will be the script for Captain Planet on Broadway.

Quote of the Day

To read without reflecting is like eating without digestion. - Edmund Burke

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Treadmill Fails

Pic of the Day

Terri Norton's Photo - Philadelphia Reflections in a Puddle

Movie of the Day

Title: Waterworld
Director: Kevin Reynolds
Writers: David Twohy, Peter Rader, Joss Whedon
Starring: Kevin Costner, Dennis Hopper, Jeanne Tripplehorn, Tina Majorino, Michael Jeter, Kim Coates, Gerard Murphy, R.D. Call



Song of the Day

Title: Hold On
Artist: Alabama Shakes
Album: Boys and Girls



Bless my heart
Bless my soul
Didn't think I'd make it to 22 years old
There must be someone up above sayin' "Come on Brittany,"

"You got to come on up"
"You got to hold on"
"Hey, you gotta hold on..."

So bless my heart and bless yours too
I don't know where I'm gonna go, don't what I'm gonna do, yeah
Must be somebody up above sayin' "Come on Brittany,"

"You got to come on up"
"You got to hold on"
"Hey, you gotta hold on..."

Yeah, you got to wait
Hey, you got to wait
But I don't wanna wait
No I don't wanna wait

So bless my heart and
Bless my mind
I got so much to do, I ain't got much time
So must be somebody up above saying "Come on baby girl,"

"You got to get back up"
"You got to hold on"
"Hey, you gotta hold on..."

Yeah, you got to wait
Hey, you got to wait
But I don't wanna wait
No I don't wanna wait

"You got to hold on..." [4x]

Artist of the Day

Maqbool Fida Husain, 1915-2011, Indian painter

Thought of the Day

Once a season the NBA needs to have an "old-timey" day, where the game is played like it was in its early days. Players would have to dribble with a direct up and down motion, they would shoot free throws underhand, there would be no "above the rim" play, no 3-point line, no shot clock, and all players would wear Converse All-Stars.

Quote of the Day

There was no respect for youth when I was young, and now that I am old, there is no respect for age - I missed it coming and going. - J.B. Priestly

Thursday, April 19, 2012

What I-i-i-i-s-s It Good For? Absolutely Nothin'

Pic of the Day

Timbuktu, Mali

            

Movie of the Day

Title: Super 8
Director: J.J. Abrams
Writer: J.J. Abrams
Starring: Joel Courtney, Elle Fanning, Kyle Chandler, Riley Griffiths, Ryan Lee, Ron Eldard

Song of the Day

Title: The End
Artist: Pearl Jam
Album: Backspacer

 

What were all those dreams we shared
Those many years ago?
What were all those plans we made
Now left beside the road?
Behind us in the road

More than friends I always pledged
'Cause friends they come and go
People change as does everything
I wanted to grow old
Just want to grow old

Slide on next to me
I’m just a human being
I will take the blame
But just the same
This is not me
You see
Believe
I’m better than this

Don’t leave me so cold
Or buried beneath the stones
I just want to hold on
And know I’m worth your love
Enough
I don’t think
There’s such a thing

It’s my fault, now I been caught
A sickness in my bones
How it pains to leave you here
With the kids on your own
Just don’t let me go

Help me see myself
'Cause I can no longer tell
Looking out from the inside of
The bottom of a well
It’s hell
I yell
But no one hears

Before I disappear
Whisper in my ear
Give me something to echo
In my unknown future's ear

My dear
The end
Comes near
I’m here
But not much longer

Artist of the Day

Cindy Sherman, 1954-present, American photographer and filmographer